Resources for “The Talk” With Sons Prior to Middle School
Preparing our sons for manhood can be a daunting task, especially when it comes to teaching them about life and sexuality. We want to protect them from pornography, inform them about the changes they will experience in puberty, and teach them about healthy sexuality. Fathers often ask me where to find good resources to accomplish these tasks wit...
Core Beliefs in Addiction Recovery
For many men who struggle with pornography addiction, their actions can be fueled by unhealthy core beliefs. Because of deep emotional wounds, often from childhood, they have adopted the following beliefs about themselves: I’m unworthy of being loved If people really knew me, they would reject me I can’t count on anyone, even God, ...
The Talk: Make It an Ongoing Conversation
As rules of some kind, the following things stand out in my memory from my youth: I was never to ride on a motorcycle. If I ever ended up in handcuffs, I’d be spending at least one night in a cell before help arrived. Sex outside of marriage is wrong. I never thought of those “rules” as linked in any way, but they were obviously...
When to Take a Break from Sex
[This article from Those Catholic Men is featured on MovingBabies] I was recently asked when it’s good for couples to take a break from sex. There are times when it is actually beneficial for couples to refrain from sexual activity; however, they should not be for extended or indefinite periods of time. St. Paul wrote, “Do not deprive ea...
What’s The Right Amount of Sex?
I was recently asked, “How much sex is the right amount?” The answer to this question is “it depends.” It is up to each couple to decide together what is the right amount of sex for them. There are many variables a couple needs to take into account. What is important is that couples talk about this. So often when I work with coupl...
Addressing Pornography in Marriage Prep Programs
John and Christine are engaged to be married. As part of their diocesan marriage prep program, they are meeting regularly with their pastor and an older married couple in their parish. During one meeting their pastor asked them how they felt about pornography use in marriages. Both John and Christine were taken off-guard with the question. ...
Male Strength Has Purpose and Should Not Be Suppressed
On his radio talk show Metaxas Talk, the evangelical Christian, author and public intellectual Eric Metaxas has made the case that feminism arose from a genuine problem on the part of men, namely the misuse of their male strength. Himself a critic of feminism, however, Metaxas maintains that while the feminist’s diagnosis of the problem was cor...
Sexual Intensity Does Not Fix Intimacy Problems
When Lou was confronted about his use of Internet pornography, his excuse was that he was tired of the “vanilla” sex he was having with his wife, Roberta. He claimed he needed more excitement in the bedroom. This left Roberta feeling both angry and sad. She felt as if Lou was blaming her for his pornography use. She also felt inadequate...
Views on Healthy Sexuality: The World vs. The Church
It’s no secret that our secular society has become hostile towards religious views and beliefs. People who follow most organized religions are viewed as ignorant and unenlightened. This is especially true for Catholics. Many believe the Catholic teachings on sexual morality are antiquated and places too much of a burden on people today....
Media Consumption Affects Your Sexual Arousal, for Better or Worse
The media we consume does have an impact on us. Advertisers influence us every day. They determine what we wear, eat, drive, and even smell like. Just look at the polyester leisure suits men wore in the 1970s (or take my word for it, they were bad) and you will see how strongly we can be influenced by advertisements and fashions. Pornograp...