Accountability: Not Just for Sobriety Anymore
Several months ago in a counseling session with a client, l’ll call Steve, I asked him how he was working with his accountability partner for recovery. He admitted they hadn’t talked in a few weeks. When asked why, Steve stated that the phone calls had gotten very mundane. He and his accountability were both getting tired of talking about S...
The Recovery Honeymoon
Vince recently called my office seeking help for his struggle with pornography addiction. This was not the first time I spoke with him. A few months earlier he called at the insistence of his wife. Vince had a longstanding struggle with Internet pornography use that spanned years. We talked about his use of pornography and how addictive it ...
A ‘Good Catholic Kid’s’ Porn Addiction, and the Need for More Leadership
My Story I’m a cradle-Catholic. The middle child of 7 born to a Catholic mom and dad in the Midwest. Indiana, to be precise. Growing up, Catholicism was everywhere. We went to mass almost every day and, if we didn’t, it usually meant hell was freezing over. I was homeschooled K-12 and we used Seton Home Study School, which means I was mor...
Breaking Free from Pornography: How Exodus 90 Helps
By: Dr. Kevin Kilcawley “It is useless to subdue the flesh by abstinence, unless one gives up his irregular life, and abandons vices which defile his soul.” St. Benedict of Nursia Late one evening, I was working with a client of mine who had been struggling with a longstanding pornography addiction. He came into my office, sat down, and told...
Pornography and Marriage: Eight Myths
When it comes to pornography use and marriages, there are several myths that need to be dispelled. Doing so can improve a couple’s ability to heal and restore their personal lives and their marriages. Here are eight common myths I’ve found in the couples I’ve worked with over the years. Myth #1: Viewing Pornography is More Exciting and F...
Attention Dads: Pornography’s Physical Threat to Your Kids
Sandy is a fifteen-year-old high school sophomore who recently missed three days of school. She told her friends she had the flu because she was too embarrassed and ashamed to tell them the truth. Sandy had actually been to the doctor for treatment for Chlamydia, a sexually transmitted disease. She got it by participating in group sex with he...
Core Beliefs in Addiction Recovery
For many men who struggle with pornography addiction, their actions can be fueled by unhealthy core beliefs. Because of deep emotional wounds, often from childhood, they have adopted the following beliefs about themselves: I’m unworthy of being loved If people really knew me, they would reject me I can’t count on anyone, even God, ...
Abuse and Pornography Addiction
Growing up, Len experienced much emotional turmoil in his home. It seemed like his parents were constantly yelling at him or at each other. There was never any sense of peace in the house. Everyone always seemed angry. As a teen, Len discovered Internet porn, and it became his escape. He would isolate himself in his room, log onto a porno...
When a Priest Struggles: Obstacles to Getting Help
This article is for all the priests who regularly visit ThoseCatholicMen.com and for their family and friends. Internet pornography addiction is an epidemic in America, and priests are not immune to it. This article is designed to help priests overcome the obstacle to getting the help they need and deserve. As with all addictions, getting he...
Addressing Pornography in Marriage Prep Programs
John and Christine are engaged to be married. As part of their diocesan marriage prep program, they are meeting regularly with their pastor and an older married couple in their parish. During one meeting their pastor asked them how they felt about pornography use in marriages. Both John and Christine were taken off-guard with the question. ...