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10 Ways You Slip Back into Porn Use

I often speak to men who have had several months of successful sobriety, and then slip back into pornography use.  They often come to me feeling like hopeless failures, that all the progress they’ve made is down the drain.  These slips are common.  My advice is not to get discouraged when this happens.  Use them as learning experiences to str...

01 23 2018

A Two Step Plan to Stop Checking that Phone

There’s simply no excuse anymore to think that you are harmlessly, blamelessly, and reasonably checking your phone as many times a day as you are.  And, as an example to the next generation, when you spend time looking at a screen you are helping lead the way to their unhappiness, which is unequivocally linked to their media addiction via phone ...

12 17 2017

Recovery from Porn Addiction: Grateful Living

Often people who are enslaved by pornography addiction only see the problems with their lives.  They are trapped in a cycle of negativity and pessimism.  They live with bitterness, resentment, and feel unworthy of receiving anything good in their lives, especially love.  In Alcoholics Anonymous this is called “stinking thinking.”  Overcomin...

12 04 2017

Healthy Sexuality for Couples Facing Sexual Addiction

When I work with couples facing sexual addiction, they often question how they should address being sexual in their marriage.  Some spouses may want to maintain their marital sex life and others may want to avoid it altogether.  While a healthy sex life is important for any marriage, when recovering from sexual addiction there is much healing nee...

10 09 2017

The Three Tiers of Addiction Recovery

People often ask me what the recovery process entails.  Especially when dealing with addiction to pornography, there is a desire to be able to recognize progress since it is such a difficult addiction.  I often describe recovery as a three-tiered process: sobriety, inner-healing, and transformation. Sobriety: Being sober means no longer usin...

10 03 2017

Relationship and Addiction Trouble? Your Attachment to Your Parents Might Play a Part…

Attachment wounds effect men’s lives in ways they are typically unaware.  “Attachment” is the emotional bond an infant develops with his primary care giver, usually the mother. However, in some cases, especially with pornography/sex addicts, I have found attachment wounds with the father to be more critical.  A healthy father-attachment dev...

08 22 2017

It Provides The Feeling of Power. It’s A Lie.

In this article, I discuss the seventh and eighth characteristics of pornography addiction. It is Used as a Reward.  Pornography addicts can also justify their pornography use by viewing it as a reward.  Whether they have been working hard in their career or around the house, they justify their pornography use as a reward for “a job well d...

06 27 2017

The Signs of Pornography Addiction Part II

In this article, I discuss the third and fourth characteristics of pornography addiction. It is Degenerative and Progressive.  Over time the addiction gets worse.  As with any addiction a tolerance develops.  With this, the need for pornography grows.  In addition to spending more time viewing pornography, the type of pornography sought be...

06 07 2017

Characteristics of Pornography Addiction; Part 1

For those who struggle with pornography addiction, and their loved ones, successful recovery requires a basic understanding of the addiction.  There are eight characteristics of pornography addiction.  In each of the next four articles I will discuss two characteristics.  It is my hope that this information will encourage readers to study more a...

06 06 2017

Matt Fradd Is Wrong

Recently I took to one of my favorite pastimes, sitting on my porch with a cigar, a hot cup of coffee and listening to a good podcast. As far as good podcasts go, you can’t do much better than Catholic Stuff You Should Know.  On top of that, the guest for the day was the accomplished apologist Matt Fradd. Matt came on the show to discuss our cul...

04 26 2017

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