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The Three Tiers of Addiction Recovery

People often ask me what the recovery process entails.  Especially when dealing with addiction to pornography, there is a desire to be able to recognize progress since it is such a difficult addiction.  I often describe recovery as a three-tiered process: sobriety, inner-healing, and transformation. Sobriety: Being sober means no longer usin...

10 03 2017

How Body & Soul Come Together in Christian Marriage

The modern world has fallen into a dualism of body and soul in many ways. Descartes, a founding father of modern philosophy described the soul as a “ghost in a machine.” It is only too easy to focus on the body in an animalistic fashion, focused on pleasure and gratification. The opposite extreme is to fall into emotionalism or even a spiritual...

08 08 2017

Friendship Love in a Relationship

Once a couple has developed a deep level of romantic love, they usually move onto friendship love.  This is also very important for a happy marriage.  Often when people who have been married for 50 years are interviewed, they are asked what is their secret to a long and happy marriage.  A common answer to that question is “I married my best fr...

05 31 2017

Romantic Love In a Relationship

Romantic love in a relationship is easy to identify.  It’s when a man and a woman meet and find themselves physically, emotionally and spiritually attracted to each other.  There is a “chemistry” there that cannot be explained.  The two just “click.”  In such a relationship, you find yourself wanting to spend more time with her.  You...

05 24 2017

What Does Love In A Healthy Relationship Look Like?

Most men are called to be married, and want a healthy marital relationship.  So, what constitutes a healthy relationship.  To answer this question, many pop psychology books talk about good communication and respect for one another.  Others may talk about a healthy sex life.  I want to take a different approach and talk about love.  In fact, I...

05 15 2017

Lead Your Wife With Authority, Not Power

Fr. Robert Sirico is fond of referencing the sociologist Robert Nisbet for his distinction between power and authority.  In his book The Soul of Liberty, Fr. Sirico describes Nisbet’s distinction in this way: “[B]oth authority and power are forms of restraint, but…power is an external form and authority is an internal form.  With power, we...

05 03 2017

Marriage Will Not Cure Your Lust

When I became a Christian in high school I got involved with the Protestant ministry that introduced me to Christ.  This led eventually to me being a “leader” in this ministry and helping to host camps for teenagers.  It was wildly formative as I was able to work alongside men, young and old, and learn how they did things, handled challenges,...

03 28 2017

Porn’s Attack on Marriage and Family Life

For most young men and women, getting married and starting a family is a life goal. Unfortunately many who are regular users of Internet pornography and/or cybersex aren’t aware of how this could sabotage their plans. Research has shown that pornography is tearing apart marriages and families, leaving many victims in its wake. How Men and Women ...

12 28 2016

The TRAUMA of Divorce and The Struggle of Pornography Addiction

When Chris came to me for help for his pornography addiction he sincerely wanted to uncover and resolve the root causes of his addiction.  He had read stories about people addicted to pornography and sex who as children had been abused, neglected, or were raised by alcoholics.  Because he had experienced none of these traumas in his life he could...

10 05 2016

Pornography’s Impact on Healthy Intimacy in Romantic Relationships

In my last article, I discussed healthy intimacy in friendships. In this article, I focus on intimacy in romantic relationships. For many men, their goal in life is to get married and have a family. Finding a wife begins with knowing how to date successfully. This can be difficult for many men as pornography has damaged their ability to relate to w...

06 22 2016

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