What’s The Right Amount of Sex?
I was recently asked, “How much sex is the right amount?” The answer to this question is “it depends.” It is up to each couple to decide together what is the right amount of sex for them. There are many variables a couple needs to take into account. What is important is that couples talk about this. So often when I work with coupl...
Sexual Intensity Does Not Fix Intimacy Problems
When Lou was confronted about his use of Internet pornography, his excuse was that he was tired of the “vanilla” sex he was having with his wife, Roberta. He claimed he needed more excitement in the bedroom. This left Roberta feeling both angry and sad. She felt as if Lou was blaming her for his pornography use. She also felt inadequate...
Views on Healthy Sexuality: The World vs. The Church
It’s no secret that our secular society has become hostile towards religious views and beliefs. People who follow most organized religions are viewed as ignorant and unenlightened. This is especially true for Catholics. Many believe the Catholic teachings on sexual morality are antiquated and places too much of a burden on people today....
A Catholic Man’s Response to #MeToo
Let’s begin this article with a controversial statement: Toxic masculinity is real and has been since near the beginning of human existence. (Note: so too has toxic femininity, but it’s not the topic of this article.) Many men hate this indictment and resist it. After all, who wants to be painted with the same broad brush that touches sexua...
Healthy Sexuality for Couples Facing Sexual Addiction
When I work with couples facing sexual addiction, they often question how they should address being sexual in their marriage. Some spouses may want to maintain their marital sex life and others may want to avoid it altogether. While a healthy sex life is important for any marriage, when recovering from sexual addiction there is much healing nee...
The Three Tiers of Addiction Recovery
People often ask me what the recovery process entails. Especially when dealing with addiction to pornography, there is a desire to be able to recognize progress since it is such a difficult addiction. I often describe recovery as a three-tiered process: sobriety, inner-healing, and transformation. Sobriety: Being sober means no longer usin...